i’m not sure how or when it started. but just last night i realized that it’s always hard for me to face changes.
i have no problem if the change is only on my appearance (or anyone else’s). like the fact that i don’t like having the same hairstyle for more than half a year. or that everyday is basically a new wardrobe adventure for me (grunge yesterday, preppy today, gothic tomorrow). for appearances, i’m actually just the opposite. i don’t like wearing something twice to parties or family gatherings when the people who’ll be there are the same as those who have seen me wearing that thing before.
but when it comes to other things… like moving the furnitures in the house… using new PC operating system… having new colleagues at work… hmm. *my smile suddenly freezes half-way*
believe me, i know, changes are good, how can it not be? i had a big change too, didn’t i, moving here to a completely different country, leaving my old life behind, learning to adapt, etc etc… and do i regret it? no, i don’t. i’m glad i did it. and still the idea of having to change or face a change in things isn’t something i’m comfortable with.
my husband loves changing the arrangements of our furnitures. in the beginning of our living together, he would ask me if it’s a good idea to move this table here, the bed there, the bookshelf here. i would first and foremost object to anything he suggested. (sigh, i know, i could be an annoying wife.) he would sometimes do it anyway, and then after a few days, i finally get used to the new scene, and everything is peaceful again in our household… until the next time he decides to move the furnitures again.
when i said to him last night, how i realized that it’s hard for me to face these changes, namely in furniture arrangements, his reply was, “i know. that’s why i never even bother to ask you anymore these days.” which is true. these days, i would come home from work and notice that he’s moved some things somewhere. i would of course still give out some protests, but since the moving is already done (and he knows very well that i’m just too lazy to put those furnitures back to the previous arrangement), there’s practically nothing else for me to do but to adapt, and move on with my life.
that’s the way it is in life, after all, isn’t it? you’re bound to face changes at times, and when it happens, all you can do is adapt to it, and then you move on with your life. you can’t just stay the same forever. just like you can’t use the same operating system for your computer forever and ever, which was why we upgraded ours.
and i can’t even begin to tell you how many times i swore and cursed when i had to learn to use this new Windows 8. and the re-installing of the other programs, which also made me swear and curse. but now that has passed, of course. now i’m beginning to enjoy this OS.
so yeah, in the end i guess when i simply HAVE TO, then i won’t have a problem adapting to the changes. with a
smile and a song lot of swearing and cursing, i’ll get there to the other end of the rainbow.
right now there will be a lot of changes happening to my workplace. it’s gradually happening, there’s been some old workers leaving (maternity leaves, retirements) and new comers to take their places… and also old workers getting new positions… and my uncomfortable feeling of facing some changes has already started once again.
i don’t know how long it will take this time till i can finally enjoy these new changes at my workplace, but i have to try to adapt. then maybe one day i’ll wake up realizing that i am no longer against any changes, and instead welcome it and start doing changes of my own. start changing our own furniture arrangements.
i’m sure my husband will love that, at least. 😀