i refuse to grow up

last Saturday as i walked out of the house to go grocery shopping with my husband, i asked him, “how do i look?”. he looked at me and smiled, “you look cute.”

i was wearing this new H&M cardigan… which i got from the KIDS department. i asked him the question because it was the first time i had it on, and i was worried that it was too bright for the world (=Finns) to see.

well, his answer was a good one, of course, but it made me protest to him, “why is it that i always look ‘cute’? why can’t i look ‘good’?” i guess, in my mind, when you think of the word ‘cute’, you think of childish things, something that makes you unwillingly smile and want to pinch something. you know, CUTE cute.

so my protest was because his comment made me feel childish. i know, i do have a childish taste for clothes and other things, not just sometimes, but ALL the time. but i was starting to worry that my age will no longer keep up with my taste.

this year i actually started to sew more ‘serious’ fabrics. again, to me, ‘serious’ fabrics are those that are solid coloured, or then the prints are big enough that they look more like a work of art than cute little prints on children’s wear. God knows i tried. :p i tried to grow up, or at least look like a grown-up. i mean, i’m 31, for crying out loud!

but i still always get more attracted to small printed fabrics, or cute-shaped clothes, that in the end, i go back to where i started: wearing cute clothes. even when i try to look more ‘grown-up’, i’ll end up looking ‘cute’.

i guess my head (and heart) unconsciously always want to stay young. i remember when i was a kid, i bought this button (it WAS the ’80s, the year of big buttons!) that said, “i refuse to grow up”. i don’t remember why i chose to buy that button, since i WAS still a kid back then anyway, LOL. but even now when i don’t have that button with me anymore, the idea is still somehow stuck with me, i guess. well, duh, i even fell for Peter Pan (the animated movie from Disney… yes, that green, flying, i-don’t-wanna-grow-up, Peter Pan), so what else is new?

back to last Saturday’s incident with my husband. he gave me this no-nonsense answer after my protest, “well, because that’s just what you are.” with a quick glance, i realized that he wasn’t saying it as a teasing, but as part of the reason why he was even there with me.

the H&M cardigan.. didn’t wear it this way when i went grocery shopping though, LOL.

H&M cardigan, self-made cat blouse, self-made peplum skirt, H&M leggings, toe socks from Pasaraya-Jakarta, Up shoes

what i am, is a 31 year old who likes to dress up in a cute, childish way. if my husband can live with that (and i believe he can, since he’s taken the vow and everything else the day he married me, LOL), then i guess i can, too. and if one day my real age can’t keep up with it anymore, then maybe i’ll move to Neverland.

another purchase i had wasn’t from the kids department, but it’s also full of colours. i needed new pants, and when i was trying to choose between one-coloured (solid coloured) pants and colourful pants, i asked people’s opinion: can you wear colourful pants to a semi-formal meeting/event? regardless of what they answered (“no”), i bought the colourful ones instead. 😀

i couldn’t bear the thought of another long, Finnish, autumn/winter, so i just had to get something colourful. and anyway, i don’t think if you combine the pants with something calmer is too much, right? 

Monki t-shirt, H&M pants, ASOS shoes, tiered necklace from Metro-Jakarta, yellow necklace from India, belt from Ubud-Bali, Sophie Martin purse.

oh, okay, okay, i’ll pair them up with black or white for semi-formal meetings/events. thankfully, i don’t go to any of those too much, ha! i’ll be wearing these under my thick winter coats for work, and hopefully my work days will be filled with colours.

one extra nice thing i found after buying these pants:

yay! i just purchased something made in my own home country! that makes me feel proud. 🙂

7 thoughts on “i refuse to grow up

  1. Honestly from reading this I feel like you can pull it off. I mean I would never wear bright colors like that I’m waaaay to pale lol ht you look amazing in busy bright colors. GOOD FOR YOU!!! and those pants are way cute on you!!!

    • aww, you’re too kind! 🙂 thank you!

      i don’t usually wear high heels though, only on “special occasions” (like… 3 or 4 times a year? LOL). but for these kinds of photo shoots, just bring them on! 😉

    • thanks! dressing up how i want to is what i’m ‘brave’ enough to do in life, but there are other things i do too safely. 😉 so cheer up, even if you (think you) dress too safely, i’m sure there are many other things you bravely do in life!

  2. Pingback: song of the moment | Step Into The Silver Rain

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